Like many of you, I have read the reports over the last couple of weeks (and the subsequent social media fallout), of another 2 high profile church leaders who have been forced to step down from prominent and flourishing ministries. I am not going to go into what they have done, other than to say that they have abused their positions of trust, and that no apology, however heartfelt and contrite, is going to heal the harm that they have done to the individuals involved, or to their churches or even the global church.
Many seem to have jumped on the bandwagon, raising their personal stories from the past and implying that all church leaders have skeletons in their closets and that it’s only going to be a matter of time before they too are exposed as hypocrites and abusive monsters. I am not here to defend anyone! But if we’re not careful, it can just become an opportunity to tar every leader with the same brush and to see a boogeyman in every pulpit.
The Apostle Paul in his first letter to Timothy, rightly sets a high expectation for those in positions of leadership in the church:
“This is a trustworthy saying: “If someone aspires to be a church leader, he desires an honorable position.” So a church leader must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church? A church leader must not be a new believer, because he might become proud, and the devil would cause him to fall. Also, people outside the church must speak well of him so that he will not be disgraced and fall into the devil’s trap.” 1 Timothy 3:1-7 NLT (emphasis added)
Yes, church leaders should always be held accountable for their actions and abuse of any kind should never be tolerated, but we need to be taking positive actions to avoid things happening in the first place. In the famous quote from Desmond Tutu “We need to stop pulling people out of the river. Some of us need to go upstream and find out out why they are falling in!”
As we’ve advocated in previous blogs, we need to stop putting our pastors and leaders on pedestals! We need to accept that they are humans like the rest of us, that they have their faults, their weaknesses and insecurities as we all do. They are not infallible! As a church family, we need to be praying for our leaders regularly and finding ways to support and encourage them. But just as importantly, we need to ensure that they have a support network, people who they can be honest with, who can challenge them when required, but even more importantly who can be real friends for them. Back in June 2019 we shared a post called ‘It’s OK Not To Be OK’, in which we wrote the following about church leaders:
“They are often taking on the burdens of those they serve, through counselling, being a shoulder to cry on, but they feel unable to share their burdens, problems, stresses etc with anyone. It's often viewed as a sign of weakness or they feel it would put their job at risk if they appear to be vulnerable with those they serve. Most of us have people in our lives that we can either go to a coffee shop with or go to the pub or football with and get things off our chest. There's a scene in that classic 80's film, Crocodile Dundee, when he's surprised that people in New York pay for therapy and he says that back home, if you want to talk, you just go down the pub with your mates. Leaders don't tend to have close friends who they can talk to about life, they're often put on some kind of pedestal by those they serve.”
We pray that the Time2 house will be a safe place for our leaders, where they can rest, relax and be real. Where they can be refreshed and renewed, physically, mentally and spiritually. While we wait for God to provide it, we will continue to support, challenge and encourage leaders both in person and online.
We’re simply trying to stop leaders falling into the river!
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