My mind is awash with so many things, it's hard to have a cohesive thought pattern when your brain is over-stimulated! we said that we'd be producing some blogs based on what we received personally and from others, following our recent days of prayer. As we have called another one, here's a first attempt to sift the wheat from the chaff.
We talk a lot within Church circles of needing the faith of a child, that perfect blend of innocence and belief, where you look at the world with a sense of awe and wonder, while having 100% trust that your Heavenly Father will do all that He has promised! C.S. Lewis states, "[Christ] wants a child’s heart, but a grown-up’s head. He wants us to be simple, single-minded, affectionate, and teachable, as good children are; but He also wants every bit of intelligence we have to be alert at its job, and in first-class fighting trim." We need to grow in faith and maturity, ready to move on from a diet of milk to solid food and meat, as we do, we need to be aware of unhealthy food around us, by exercising and developing our spiritual gifts.
It often feels like we're walking a tightrope, all we have is a thin wire to walk along, that just disappears into a swirl of clouds in front of us. Below is a vast endless chasm of emptiness, a black hole ready to suck you into oblivion, there is no safety net to catch you should you slip and fall! When you look back over your shoulder, in the distance you can see the platform you started from, but it appears to be diminishing with every step forward. Looking back fills you with a sense of terror and hope at the same time! Terror, because you know that there is no possible way to turn around on this precariously moving tightrope, but hope because you've come so far, maybe, just maybe you can continue to move forward until the other end is reached and you can place your feet on solid ground.
Many of you have been with us since the beginning, when we were given the dream of setting up Time2, when we announced that we were leaving the comfort of a ngm, a close community of believers who support each other to follow their creative dreams. In worldly terms we were extremely naive and foolish to give up the security we had to follow a dream with no finances in place, no property and no support structure. But we felt that we had to show childlike faith and obediently follow the call. Would we have taken that first step, if we'd realised that we were in a marathon rather than a sprint? We'd assumed that the end of the tightrope, though we couldn't see it, was only a few steps in front of us! That God was just wanting to see if we'd follow obediently and once we did, He would part the clouds to reveal His provision.
We said previously, that we had a number of words and pictures given to us following the days of prayer. These have all been encouraging, with a couple about castles and strongholds, with others about building with what we've got. Rather than providing any clear direction, these pictures and words just appear to be causing confusion. (I know that in years to come when we're retelling the stories of this period in time, it will all be so obvious and we won't be able to understand why we couldn't see God bringing all the pieces together and why we didn't see where these words were pointing us!) At the same time, the house that we saw last September and fell in love with (we'd laid a fleece out before viewing it and felt that God had provided all 3 quirky things we'd asked for) went under offer! Then we've had a couple of people send us details of properties that they'd come across, but they're both well outside our usual search area. Then Ruth found a potential property online, in our search area. Unfortunately due to Covid restrictions, viewings can now only take place under strict guidelines, to avoid time wasters, most agents are now wanting to see proof that you are in a position to proceed, so as we have no finances and wouldn't be able to obtain a mortgage we're stuck with just viewing online rather than in person. One of the properties we were sent was just a few miles from Kidderminster, so we did a prayer drive by, slowing as much as possible and then finding a place to turn around and repeat the process from the other direction. The drive by confirmed what we'd thought from our online viewing.
Going back to the tightrope analogy, it seems that we've got people cheering us on and shouting words of encouragement to us from afar, but it still feels that we're on this journey on our own! I am not saying that we don't appreciate everyone who has contacted us with words, pictures and scriptures, because we really do. Having people cheering us on when we hit a difficult part, when it seems we can't even see the rope beneath our feet, is so vital to keeping us moving forward, however slowly! But we need to keep our eyes on what we can see ahead and ensure that we are placing our feet on the rope, having that childlike faith that what God will fulfil what He has promised. We need that belief that He is holding our hands, that He won't let us fall and in the words of the poem, Footprints In The Sand, that when the going gets too tough, that He will actually carry us.
To sum up this whole experience in a few words, we're confused!
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